Chapter 60: Summer Love, Revisited Pt. 2

Charlotte sat in a cafe the next morning, sipping on a cup of breakfast tea and thinking about what had transpired the night before. John. John was back in town, and he wanted to tell her something. It had seemed important, from the urgency in his voice. But Charlotte knew she couldn't face him. It was too much for her and she knew she was too weak to see him again. That feeling in the pit of her stomach as soon as she had seen him dangerously reminded her of the months she had spent crying at night, trying to forget him. 

She groaned and rested her head on her arms. 

"Tired, Charlotte?" a voice came suddenly, but gently. Charlotte recognized the low voice and sat back, startled. "John." 

"Look, I wasn't going to see you again after last night. I saw how disturbed you looked and when you said you didn't want to see me, it just broke my heart. But looking at you now, I couldn't help myself." He looked sheepish, apologetic. She looked down. She couldn't meet his eyes. She knew she would crack if she did. 

"Please, Char. I just want to know how you've been doing and, when you're more comfortable, try to explain myself." His voice was more quiet now, pleading. She made the mistake of looking at him. He looked smart, like yesterday, although it was not the same semi-formal outfit he had been wearing at the restaurant. He was dressed in a sightly crinkled blue button down and a pair of dark blue jeans. He wore a pair of brown oxfords and the glasses they had picked out together, the ones with blue rectangle frames. 

His eyes shone through the lenses and locked with hers with a sort of earnest desperation. She melted.  Her stomach clenched, and her heart was beating faster than usual. The blush crept into her cheeks as he held her eyes with a steadfast gaze, and she hoped he hadn't noticed the pink in her face. 

"Okay John, let's talk." She said, resignedly, fighting with the rational part of her brain. "How have you been?" 

John smiled, his thankful smile melting her heart as his shoulders relaxed a little. "Char, I've missed you so much. You have no idea." 

"I think I have some idea." Charlotte stared at him, her voice accusing. "You left me without explanation. I thought we had something, John." 

John looked down. "I went to London," he started. "My father called me, you remember, and asked me to come take care of him." He looked back up at her, his eyes searching hers for understanding. 

Charlotte shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. And we could have worked something out. I loved you! At least... I did." 

John smiled bitterly. "It all happened so fast. My father had cancer. It was stage four...terminal. I could barely think, let alone get myself to his side before his operation. The doctors wanted to operate one last time to see if they could buy him any more time. They gave him barely a year to live. I stayed by his side for as long as I could, working two jobs to pay for his hospital bills. I didn't have any time to contact you. I barely had enough time to sleep." John shook his head. "I thought about you every night, Char. I've only thought of you for all this time." 

Charlotte shut her eyes, tight. She didn't have the emotional capacity for this, not right now. She had been heartbroken when John left. She had only been able to put him out of her mind enough to try to move on about a year ago, and now he just shows up out of the blue? She shook her head. 

"John, I'll talk to you later, please." 

"Charlotte..." John stood up as Charlotte started packing her things and heading toward the door. 

"Not now, John. I'm sorry, this is too much for me to handle. I'll talk to you some other time." 

"Just..." John held her hand for a second, gently, as if afraid that she would never appear before his eyes again. "Just.. please think about what I said. I love you, Char." 

"Goodbye, John."